So you’re asking yourself…why?

Well, I wish I had a good answer for that, but I don’t, so you’ll have to go with what I do have…*ahem* a crappy answer.

The thing is, I spend lots of time in bathrooms. Well excuuuuse me if my bladder is the size of a walnut. Some people hate using public bathrooms (yes, I know they’re technically “restrooms”—since we’re in the US and there really aren’t [m]any public baths—but this is “BathroomGoodies.com” and not “RestroomGoodies.com”…so deal). I don’t mind it; as a rule, hygiene and sanitation aren’t on the top priority (at least in practice ), but if you gotta go, you gotta go. I’d rather be comfortable and get over using a dirty bathroom than be miserable on a five-minute trip.

Bathrooms are rated on a five-point scale. I’d like to say that I have a really scientific way of granting out points, but again, no go. It’s entirely arbtirary…but not biased…I frankly don’t care enough for it to be biased. Besides, who wants to read biased reviews on bathrooms? Sure, it’s arbitrary, but at least it makes sense. Even if no one seems to care about hygiene and sanitation, I do care, and I’ll dock ‘em for it. Clean bathrooms will be in the 3-3.5 of 5-point range, they have to be different or cool or out of place for where they’re at to get more than 4 (and clean). I’m not an elected official, so I do take bribes! Bathrooms…er…restrooms…with full-service staff are gonna be rated higher…it’s not everyone’s cup o’ tea, but I like having someone hook me up with soap and towels. Yes, I do tip those guys. No, I haven’t found a truly full-service restroom yet…but I’m thinking Eliot Spitzer might be able to help me with that one. Being as familiar as he is with the Big Apple and all. Further, a “restroom” doesn’t have to have those guys who hook up soaps and colognes to get 5 points…but it has to be creative, different, avoiding the norm…and it still has to be clean. I’ll do my best to explain my rating for each individual bathroom.

For goodness sakes people, others come in after you…don’t leave a mess. I’m sure those of you who don’t care about the hygiene of bathrooms are pretty disgusted when you find whatever it is that someone else left behind. Finally, how hard is it really to wash your hands? I’m not suggesting a police state of handwashing, but the 30 seconds you’ll save aren’t gonna change your life. I’m not even suggesting using hand sanitizer (after all, that helps leave behind resistant strains of bacteria), all I’m suggesting is soap, warm water, and paper towels. Which reminds me…not having paper towels is a real deal-breaker for me…being out is one thing, people are wasteful…not having them is a real bummer (I get it, I really do…I understand minimizing cost via minimizing waste). Door handles are pretty nasty…

I’ve got things to add on top of this blog, but for right now, this will do nicely. I welcome comments, but I’m gonna have to approve ‘em, because frankly, this has to be a semi-family-oriented site. Sure, it could invite lots of gross stuff…but I don’t want it to. So there…it’s my site, I get to do what I want! Nyah nyah nyah nyah-nyah!